Photo Friday: The Question That's Easy to Answer

One of the questions I was asked during my meetings at Sourcebooks was this, "What do you hope will be the result of your book?" It was easy to answer because I've thought of that a lot. My story is about a father-daughter relationship. It's about finding truth. It's loaded with information about WWII and includes the intrigue of naval intelligence and top-secret code breaking. That's the story. But there are lots of stories out there. What do I hope to accomplish with the telling of THIS one?

That's easy.

I want to start a story-telling revolution. Does that sound over-the-top? Too ambitious? I hope so. Our WWII veterans are dying at a rate of more than 1,000 every single day! And when they are gone, so are their stories. Each one has a story worth telling and a story worth listening to. Many are just waiting for someone to take the time to not only ask, but to listen. WWII veterans are just a microcosm of the rest of the population. Veteran or not, elderly or not, we all know someone who has a story.

We're busy. But are we too busy to learn the lessons life has put right in front of us? I don't think so. It's time to stop and listen. I hope my book will inspire people everywhere to hop off the merry-go-round for just one hour to listen to someone's story. And better yet - to write it down. If not now, when? If not you, who?

Photo Friday: My Mentor, Shirley

photo: Shirley and I went to listen to Jack Canfield speak a few years ago.

I was invited to visit with my friend and mentor, Shirley Waite this afternoon. She is such an inspiration! I know it sounds cliche' but I just can't think of another way to put it, but let me try.

Shirley is a longtime writer with hundreds of articles to her name and even a book. She is also longtime friend of my mothers. When I was a teenager, she helped me to polish a piece that I entered in the Guideposts Youth Writing Contest. She was the first person to recognize that I had a teeny bit-o-talent for writing. I won a $2000 scholarship for my entry, A Special Smile.

Much later in my life, she invited me to a local Christian writer's group. There, I brought my book, titled BREAKING THE CODE. It was a biography about my father and his wartime experiences. But something transformative happened; it was just a simple comment but it changed the life of my book. She said, 'Karen, have you considered that this isn't just your father's story...that it's your story too?' Umm...no. I hadn't. I talked about how chasing the story was affecting me, but then I wrote it about HIM. I hadn't considered it at all. But with those words, I knew something important had happened.

I went home and started to add all of my feelings, my emotions, my experiences. I'd say at first, it was more of my experiences. Later, I would realize that my feelings and emotions needed to be shared too. That was the scary part! But I did it.

When I wanted to enter my book in a writing contest, she volunteered to edit it. Then she sat down with me and went through each word, each line, each paragraph. She told me what she thought needed to be done and where the text was confusing. Honestly, I'd thought she'd just pat me on the back and say, "Oh my! What a fabulous writer you are! I wouldn't change a thing!" But true to the writer-blood that flows through her veins, she shared every minute detail that her editors eyes saw.

I didn't mention in this piece that Shirley has Parkinson's Disease. I didn't mention the tremors and shakes that wrack her small frame, and the pain that accompanies it. Why? Because it is irrelavent, except to show the strength of her character.

So, thank you Shirley, for the cherry dessert you served this afternoon. But thanks most of all for seeing something in me that no one else had seen; that I really could write. You are one amazing lady!

Have you had a mentor in your life? Have you written about him/her? Don't you think it's time?

Write Now - Because it's Later than you Think! ~Karen

Getting Your Parents to Talk

The following is part of a letter I received recently. I thought perhaps it might be helpful to others.

Karen,
I am curious how you...got the old folks talking. It seems like when
I was young and not really interested, my mom had all kinds of stories
to tell. Now that she knows I AM interested, she seems reluctant to talk.
Of course, it doesn't help that we are several thousand miles away from
each other, but even when I visit, it's like pulling teeth to get her to tell
me anything. -Sherrie

Dear Sherrie,
I know what you mean. When I was interviewing my father for what eventually turned into a book, he wasn't real big on talking. Like you, I'd heard his stories many, many times as a child. That said, here are a few ideas;

1. Spend time with your mom on a regular basis and without an agenda. A consistent time, even if it is on the phone is likely to bring you closer to your mom. I think we all want to know that we are important enough for a regular call or visit. Eventually, that time may provide opportunities for stories to be shared. It may seem time-consuming but in the end it's really not that much time at all. And there's something about knowing that someone set aside Wednesdays at 9am every single week, that opens doors to memories.
2. Photos are a great memory-starter. So are memorabilia or even just walking around someone's house and talking about the items contained in it. People keep things for a reason.
3. Talk about your own memories. Share them with no expectation.
4. Ask about memories that are common, yet individual. Ask the "where were you
when...?" questions. For example, "Where were you when JFK was shot?"

Above all, don't give up. It takes time for people to share, but it's worth your
effort and patience.

Thanks for asking! Good luck and let me know what you learn. ~Karen

Memory Monday

photo: Togo is always happy when I have a new blog feature!

This is the first day of a brand-spankin' new feature. For every Memory Monday, my post will feature some sort of advice on how to go about recording your memories. As the name of my blog, WRITE NOW - BECAUSE IT'S LATER THAN YOU THINK, indicates, I truly believe in getting those stories written down before it's too late. I've searched the internet, books, and forums to help me understand personal history writing. I hope to share some of those finds with you, my current and eventual readers.

My dream is to create a community of people who are actively taking the steps to get their stories and the stories of their loved ones written down. I'd love nothing better than to have some tiny influence. But it is for me too. While I've concentrated my effort on my father's extraordinary story, there is still a lot to be done for the rest of my family. So, as I learn, I'll share that learning with you. And together, we can change our little corner of the world - one story at a time. Ready? Tune in next Monday for your first mini-memoir exercise.

Photo Friday: Like a Steal Trap

I have news for you. It's a revelation, really - one that was revealed to me and soon will be to you too. Your mind is not like a steal trap. I know you think it is. And I did too. But surprise! It's not. It's more like a sieve, a pasta strainer. Hopefully, the important stuff will stay in, but every now and then, it just slips through and down the drain, never to be seen again.

So, what in the world does this have to do with writing a book and the picture above? Well, a lot! If you're like me, you have a box, a folder, a drawer, a trunk load of photos somewhere. You looke at them every now and then and think, "I should really do somethng with these." Maybe you swear you'll scrapbook them someday. Maybe you don't know what the heck you want to do with them, but you know something should be done. But if you look closely at those photos, you may find something disturbing. I did!

Those people from your past, especially the ones that are no longer in your present life, have faded. Their names are slipping away. Even some relatives confuse you. Is that Uncle Bob or Aunt Mabel? Maybe you can't even tell your own kids apart. They do look alike even years apart when they reach the same ages.

Recently, my father and I went on a photo hung. We were looking for photos of his buddies during boot camp and WWII. Now, I have to tell you that my father is the exception to the rule. But I think that's because he has one of those one-in-a-million brains. He can look at a photo and tell you the person's name, and every single detail surrounding them. That's just the way he is. But I suspect that most people don't work that way. He named off all those people from a photo from almost 70-years ago and then told me every detail. When we flipped the photo over, there were the names; written on the back along with the date.

So, here's my challenge to you. Even though your mind is a steal trap and you too are the exception to the rules of brainy-ness, purpose yourself to do something. This year, whenever you see a photo lying around, just take a second and jot down the place date and names on the back. Even if you don't do that to every single photo you own, you or your great, great, great grandchildren, will be able to use it to compare others to years from now. Do it. I will too!

The Dreaded Question

I'm dreading the day when someone says, "Have you wanted to be a writer all your life?" The truthful answer is, "No." And in fact, it's even sadder than that. It never even occured to me that there was such a thing as a writer. How in the world is that possible? Maybe it's because I knew what I wanted to be from the time I was six-years old. True story.

In first grade, I knew I wanted to be a teacher. So, maybe that closed my little mind to the possibility of anything else. I don't know. I liked reading as a little girl. I have many memories of reading. I remember being frustrated if my mom filled in an unknown word for me right before I was about to get it myself. I remember loving to do reading worksheets. OK...that one had something to do with the candy my teacher taped on each paper. But still.

Becoming a writer was never on my radar. Until years later.

Resolve to Write - 11 Ways to Find the Time

It's a new year and the perfect time to resolve to start a few good habits or get rid of some bad ones. But since this blog is all about getting your stories written down, I thought I'd tackle the most common thing that stops most people; time.

11 Ways to Find the Time to Write

1. Get up a little earlier.
2. Stay up a little later.
3. Carry a small notebook with you and write down any ideas that pop into your head. 4. Write while waiting (doctors office, dentist, picking kids up etc)
5. Write during your lunch hour (or half-hour).
6. Take your kids or elderly parent to their care provider a half-hour early a few days a week and use that time to write - in the parking lot of your employer or at your desk at work.
7. Take yourself to coffee and bring along your laptop.
8. Give up a favorite television show and write during it instead.
9. Let your significant other do the bedtime routine with the kids a day or two a week.
10. Take your friends up on their offer to exchange play dates.
11. Pay a responsible teen or adult to watch the kids, make dinner, do the laundry or attend to any other task that will free you up to write.

If you resolve to do it, you will. Remember that.

Photo Friday: A Veiw From Where I Write

I write in a few different places. I have a writing room at home, thanks to college-age children who moved out. But I have found that often, it just doesn't work for me to write there. Being at home, I am always tempted to clean or cook or just plain waste time. 4:00pm will roll around and I'll wonder where in the heck the day went. But if I go somewhere, just like everyone else out there - employed outside the home, I get far more done. So, I write at coffee shops, libraries, and diners. And for me, it works.

Most recently, I wrote at a fun delicatesen. See photos.

No matter where you write or what lengths you must go to to do it, please don't put it off another day. Instead of thinking of all the reasons you can't do it, come up with a plan to make it work. And remember - Write Now, because it's later than you think!

Book Advance Boohoo (or not)

Did you know that most authors don't make back their advances? According this article, ">href="http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/12/books/review/Meyer-t.html"> in the New York Times, 7 out of ten of us never make a cent. Maybe I'm an optimist...OK, I admit it, I am...but that means 3 out of ten do make money, right? That's 3 of every ten people. I had 15 people over for Thanksgiving dinner. If they were all authors, 4 1/2 of them would be making money on their newly released book. (I get to choose which one only counts as half a person) Not bad stats, I'd say.

And by the way, if you want to see a rundown of what an author really makes, read the article referenced above. But beware - if you aren't an optimist, it could be a bit of a downer. Just remember you ARE the exception! ~Karen


photo: ice surrounds a branch on my Rose of Sharon tree

PS Sorry I couldn't get the link to appear. I fiddled with it for way too long and couldn't get it to post right. Ah, technology! You'll have to do it the hard way; copy and paste. ~K

Story Matters

As my long-term readers know, I am passionate about getting people's stories written down. Quite honestly, I am going to start a movement. Seriously! Everywhere I go nowadays, I end up giving a brief synopsis of my story. That story includes discovering that my father worked for Naval Intelligence during WWII as a codebreaker. And to be quite honest and graphic, if he'd died ten years ago, nobody would have ever known this story. Have you ever really considered that? Writing down the stories of our loved ones is so important! Nobody is promised tomorrow. The time is now! I'm not completely sure how to get that message across, but I WILL do it.

Whenever I share my story, invariably, someone else will have a similar one. Or they will have had the opportunity to have heard someone's story, but missed it when the person suddenly died or was stricken with Alzheimers or whatever.

Write Now - because it's later than you think.

Signing Fear

This is an interesting time for me. Any day now, I will sign a contract for my book. I'm just waiting for it to arrive in my mailbox. It's what every writer wants, right? Right! Of course! So why then, am I suddenly scared about the whole thing? I've worked hard for this. I deserve this. I know that! But I seem to have contracted a bit of "performance anxiety." I won't even give voice (written down) to my fears, my "what if's" and "but...'s." It's not that I'm superstitious or anything; I just simply don't want to give it a place to reside in my brain.

So, here's the deal. I've used this blog for lots of things; a sounding board, a journal or diary, a place to share feelings, and a place to look for answers. But what has always remained is that it is a blog about writing. It will continue to be just that. As always, Write Now-because it's later than you think, Karen

Offer on my Book!

Photo: Lavinia, my namesake at Mt. Lavinia Hotel, Sri Lanka

I have an exciting announcement to make to my little blogity blog here. I have had an offer on my book, BREAKING THE CODE - A DAUGHTER'S JOURNEY INTO HER FATHER'S SECRET WAR! I spoke with the editor on the phone and believe it is a really good offer. More to come!

Title Change

A wise, writer-friend, suggested that my title, BREAKING THE CODE - A DAUGHTER'S JOURNEY, might not be enough information to draw the readers I want to. So, though it is a bit of a mouthful, the title is now, BREAKING THE CODE - A DAUGHTER'S JOURNEY INTO HER FATHER'S SECRET WAR. I think that says it far better. It gives a hint of the secret, as well as the hint that it has to do with some kind of war.

Titles are tricky, especially if you are immersed in the project. You forget that other people don't "get it" like you do. The code I refer to, for example, has a dual meaning, but of course the reader won't know that until they read the book.

Write Now! ~Karen

PNWA conference

The conference was fabulous! I got so much more out of it this year. I did get the coveted requests for proposal/pages from a few agents/editors, which is amazing. Very excited about that. But I also made a decision and with it a goal.

Decision: While it would be great to have the book published in the traditional way, with a big New York agent/editor getting behind it, that is not the only way. There are also smaller, independent publishing companies and there are many options now for self-publishing. So, I have decided that self-publishing is a real possibility for me.

Goal: By this time next year, I will be launching my book, one way or the other.

Reality: It's a lot of work, in a lot of areas that I am not accomplished in. But hey, live and learn, right. It keeps us young!

Realizing that I don't have to rely on the planets to align perfectly for my book to be published has given me a new excitement for the project.

Don't forget to, WRITE NOW - BECAUSE IT'S LATER THAN YOU THINK!

Rejection Celebration

I am a literary query rejection specialist! Yes. It's true. No, really. Somehow in my deluted mind, I am now excited over some rejections. My family clearly doesn't understand my bliss. So I'll tell you about it. Surely YOU understand!

After carefully selecting a few places to send my narrative nonfiction book, BREAKING THE CODE - A DAUGHTER'S JOURNEY, I began working on other endeavors. But then today, I saw a letter in the mail. It wasn't the SASE I'd sent with it. I won't say who it was from, but suffice to say, an impressive agent. And there was no line that read, "Sorry for the form letter, but..." In fact it was five sentences long and one of those sentences was two and a half lines! Wow! Also, every line of it was about MY book!

She said she admires my courage in sharing something so personal. She talked about communication with my father (which is what the story is about...sort of). She said she is taking on very few projects and just can't take it on. But she wished me the best in moving forward with it. OMG. I mean...OMG, OMG, OMG! That's exciting, right?

I read it to my significant other. He was standing at the time; he did not say, "Lemme sit down for this." He didn't faint. He didn't congratulate me.

"This is a big deal," says I.

blink.

"A really big deal!"

blink. blink.

"The big-time agents just don't write personal notes like that." blink.

"Uh that's great, honey?"

OK. So my family doesn't get it. Do you?

Erin Dealey Rap

Adjusting Goals

Sometimes the goals I make for myself are a little on the crazy side. That's what happened here. When I got to the day to write for 7 hours, it was just too much. I was drained and unmotivated. And honestly, I do have other commitments that I can't just push aside. I am a daughter, a mother, a wife, a friend. Problem is, I'm one of those "all or nothing" people. I'll kill myself trying to make a goal I've set. And if I don't reach it, I bag the whole thing. I give up. For me, if the goal is to write 42 hours this week and I write only 30, I am a failure. I don't consider it progress even though it's still 20 more hours than I wrote last week. I know it makes no sense. In fact, it makes less and less sense as I write it here.

So, I'm trying to give myself a break and learn from this. My revamped goal for this week is;

Day 1 - 3 hours
Day 2 - 4 hours
Day 3 - 5 hours
Day 4 - 6 hours
Day 5 - 5 hours
Day 6 - 4 hours
Day 7 - 3 hours

Go Karen Go! Can anyone relate to my craziness? Anyone?

How do you measure success?

I have read that Stephen King writes five pages a day. Supposedly, in a year it amounts to something like a 90,000 word novel. Pretty impressive. And five pages sounds totally attainable to me. But today, as I was searching this, I learned about R.L. Stein. Remember him? I do. His GOOSEBUMPS series made him a best selling author. But it did something even more important. It got my little reluctant reader to read obsessively. So there's a special place in my heart for R.L. Stein.

So anyway, I was reading about Mr. Stein here; http://www.hauntedcomputer.com/scottst52.htm and learned that he is now in retirement but can't seem to stop writing. He writes five pages a day but says, "Five pages a day isn't a writing career." Hmmmm...he just might be wrong.

Do you have a daily, monthly, or yearly goals? How do you measure them?

Photo Finish Friday- Twirling

Baton twirling was a huge part of my childhood. I competed in several competitions a year, often traveling with the whole baton corp. We performed in parades, nursing homes, and fairs. Our group, "The Thunderbirds" often wore red sequined outfits (as you can see). I spent every Saturday for 8 years at practices that ran back-to-back in a dusty old building that was somehow regal and magical. High cealings meant I could practice my "turn-arounds" without worrying about hitting the cealing with my baton. I even twirled a fire-baton once. Once was enough. ~Karen

Other Photo Finish Blogs to Visit:
http://nita-onewomansview.blogspot.com/ - Wonder where that chair is now?

Photo Finish Friday - It Begins

As you may or may not know, my blog, WRITE NOW-BECAUSE IT'S LATER THAN YOU THINK began after my father gave me more than 400 pages of letters he wrote to his folks during WWII. Without his decision to give them to me, his story might never have been told. Since that time, I am always trying to think of new ways to encourage people to tell their story. I believe that most of us think about it. We just never take the time to do it. Unfortunately, our parents and grandparents thought the same way. And just imagine what a treasure their story would be to us now.

While cruising around the web, and reading lots and lots of blogs, I noticed something. Sometimes you don't want to read pages and pages about a person. Sometimes you just want a snapshot-a real one and a written one. So I've decided to sponsor PHOTO FINISH FRIDAY here on my blog. Here's how it will work; every Friday I will post a photo of my own, and no more than 100 words about the photo or the memories it evokes. And I want you to join in too. Post a photo and 100 words about it on your blog. Then come here and leave me a comment saying you've done so. Throughout the day, I will edit my post to include a link to yours. My blog will become a hub for great blogs to visit on Fridays.

Your photo and essay can be from past or present. It can be about you, your family, friends, or anyone else, just so long as it is a part of your personal history. The photo may be something from the past or present. You will be documenting a part of who you are. My hope is that this will encourage you to continue writing your family history. But even if you only write every Friday, at the end of a year, you'll have 52 memories written down. What a treasure that will be!

Keep these simple rules in mind:

1. Post a photo

2. Write about it in 100 words or less

3. Come back here and let me know about it

So come on by tomorrow when I will post my first PHOTO FINISH FRIDAY. See you then.