Bridge Anyone? Moving Beyond the Expectations of your Life

photo courtesy of Karen L. Alaniz

My favorite television news show is "Sunday Morning" on CBS. It is on, of course-Sunday mornings. You can look at some of the stories here; http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/1998/07/09/sunday/main13562.shtml. This morning there was a profile on the card game of Bridge. The camera scans a room of mostly gray haired people at a tournament in California. It's not one of those top tournaments. I thought I recognized someone at one of the tables and sure enough I did. It was Bill Gates.

The story was about the game of Bridge and how young people aren't playing it. Bill Gates as well as a few other billionaires have put a million dollars of their own money into elementary schools to be sure that game doesn't become extinct. But just like a church sermon, I often miss the main point but pick up something life-changing none-the-less. When the interviewer asked Bill Gates if he was good at Bridge, I had one of those moments.

Gates said, 'Well, no. But I get to play with people who are so much better than I am.'

And that comment got me to thinking. I think it's human nature that we're attracted to people who are like us. Our friends are usually within our own socio-economic status. They hang out at the same places, participate in the same activities, and rise to the same levels of aspiration. Bill Gates, of all people, could sit back and just enjoy being with people like him. And yet, he chooses to be with people who are better than him at something. How can I break out of my comfortable life? Do I want to? Do I really want to? What changes might I have to make in order to move above and beyond where I am now? What difference might it make in my life, in my writing, in my ability to succeed?

How about you? Do you want to move beyond the expectations of your daily life? Our lives are a series of steps- some small, some large. What steps can you take today to get there? Where do you want to be ten years from now? How about 20, 30, or even 50? But more importantly, where do you want to be six months from now? How will it look different than today?

I am open to ideas. Please do share! ~Karen

Rejection Letter Wallpaper

A month ago, I had the privilege of sitting down to a meal with author, Robert Dugoni. It was during my time on Bainbridge Island and I was invited by a writer friend. He said something that I keep thinking about. He said that he wrote a book and sent it out to agents. He got rejection after rejection. He put all of the rejection letters up on the wall, and then sent the query or manuscript out again. Well, one day he was looking at the rejections on the wall and noticed something. Many of the rejections had hand-written notes on them and many of them said the same thing. I don't know exactly what it said, perhaps something about the plot or characters. Finally, with that information, he went back and revised his manuscript. And it sold!

That story made me think. Do you think putting up all your rejections would work for you? Do you think it's negative? Do you think it would spur you on to that final celebratory acceptance? ~Karen

Where are you going?

I had the mundane task of having to wait yesterday...I hate that! What's worse is I expected it to take maybe a half-hour, so I didn't bring anything along with me to busy my mind. I was sitting in the lobby of an office building. I'd parked quickly and rushed in for my 9:30 appointment. But here's the thing, it seems I was the only one who was on schedule. Two hours later, the appointment complete; I finally left...frustrated, mad and...enlightened. What? How could that be?

The space I was trapped in had windows on two sides and was near our downtown area. I found myself people-watching. I started to play a game with myself. I'd watch as a business person in a suit or a kid on a skateboard went by and guess where they were going and then watch to see if I was right. There are many destinations nearby and though a few just went by the window, for most, I could watch as they went through the door of their destination. So I watched their body language to see if I could figure out where they were going. Sometimes they glanced periodically at the destination. Sometimes there was a purpose in their step, in the way they walked. And my guesses were almost always right.

Here's what I learned;

We focus on where we are going, no matter how far away it may be. We may focus with our eyes, with our hearts, with our minds, or even with out physical bodies. When we have a destination in mind, we can't help but take steps toward it. It would be impossible not to do so. Where are you going with your writing?

Sometimes we encounter obstacles. A businessman approached a crosswalk, but there was a utility truck parked across it. He looked across the street to his destination and walked around the obstacle. He didn't say, "Oh gosh. I guess I just can't get there. I'd better go back to where I started." No, he figured out a way to get around it and persevered. What are the obstacles to your writing?

Sometimes we must change directions. Occasionally someone would seem to be going one place but then go to another. At times we get on a path that leads nowhere. And when we finally figure it out, we have a choice; we can either make the best of our path, or we can purpose ourselves to turn another direction. Have you ever taken a wrong turn?

Who knew that two-hours of watching people go about their lives could teach me so much? The next time you have unexpected downtime, ask yourself, "What can I learn from this?" It's really quite amazing. ~Karen

photo: My recent trip to Bainbridge Island, Washington. Three generations are represented on the path.

A Room of My Own - Photos

I always laugh at those home design shows where they redesign "small" spaces. Their idea of small and mine are entirely different. This room belonged to my youngest son. It's on the second story of our home and when my daughter graduated and moved out, he moved to her room. It has sat virtually unused for a couple of years. And now I wonder why! What a wonderful writing room this is. Our home was built in 1907 and in those days there was no air conditioning so they had sleeping porches. You would open up all the windows and enjoy a cross breeze that ensured you would be able to sleep (most nights) The temperature here in the summer gets up above 100 degrees so it was a necessity. Contrary to what you may believe about the Pacific Northwest, we enjoy about 300 days of sunshine a year and not a lot of rainfall. Anyway- I so enjoyed the sunshine as I wrote yesterday.

The photos above and below were taken from each end of the room. The bookshelf was made by my dad, who is almost 87. I bought the chair when my, now 13-year-old was a baby...it's seen better days! There are windows on all four sides! How is that possible? Three face the outside and then one side has a window that looks into the hallway and the other looks into, well...the bathroom...don't worry, there's a curtain. I'm guessing the original sunroom was an addition, though not too long after the house was built...so the windows that face into the hallway and bathroom, probably looked out onto our back yard at one time. Anyway- this is so much fun. I highly recommend it! ~Karen

A Room of My Own

There is a book called, "A Room of Her own." Each chapter of the book is a different woman who has made one room in her home her very own. Some are famous people and some are not. Some have extravagent spaces and some have a converted closet. I am most inspired by the small spaces that with love and care become something new. Though I read the book years ago, it put a little seed in my little brain. My sister just moved back town after many years so today I called her. She came over and we transformed a small "bedroom" into a writing space for me. I put the word bedroom in quotes because that is what we have used it for even though it is really too small for that.

My sister helped me clean it out and then we gathered things from around the house that represent me and my hopes and dreams and placed them about the room. It was great fun! I gathered all of my writing books and brought them up (it's on the second story). And right now, I am writing from the mostly-finished space. What fun it is to be writing to you from my little room. I'll post some photos later this week. But in the meantime, tell me something...where do you write? ~Karen

The Rejection Dog

"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." -Thomas Edison

Wow! If that's not inspiring, I don't know what is. Writing can be so difficult, especially on the emotions. If you're writing for publication, you know what I mean. There is something about rejection that makes you want to quit. Go figure! But as writers we must go against logic and continue to go back again and again to that dog that bit us. We'll learn new approaches along the way and eventually, it just may lick our hand and send us a check. Until then, we must persist, because success is just around the corner. ~Karen

Letting Go - Aiming High

It's time. I've been freelance writing for 9 months. In that time, my pay has ranged from $10 to $200 per project. The other day, I found myself writing for one of my low-paying gigs. I was working my tail off despite the fact that they promised to publish one of my articles in January and then decided against it. So I had sat on this article for four months, only to be told they wouldn't be publishing it afterall and it was too late to send it elsewhere. But to their credit, they had paid me for other articles. So there I was working hard.

But then something, I don't know what, clicked. I realized that I don't have to do this anymore. I do have editors who love my writing and pay more. Why am I scrounging for pennies when I don't have to? I believe it's a poverty mentality. I don't know where it comes from, but it sends me begging for jobs and working for less than I deserve. Why? I have no idea. So today I am making a conscious decision.

I will only work for publications which honor my work. I will only work for those who believe in me and publications that I believe in. Now understand, there are other publications that do pay little, but which offer a different, non-monetary payoff, and for those I'll continue. What I'm saying is why should I shoot so low.

It reminds me of parenting and how many parents believe that if their child isn't pregnant, taking drugs, or drinking, they've done a great job. Wrong! That is the very lowest of the standard. And that's true of embarking on a career as a writer. It's time to move on, time to move up! ~Karen

Motivation to Write

After having two back surgeries, I committed to walking every single day, for the rest of my life. The only time I don't walk is when it is icy out. Of course some days I have absolutely no motivation to get out there and walk. So I tell myself to just walk to the end of the park (a rose garden) which is probably only 1/4 of a mile. That way, I figure I get some blood flow to my spine (your spine only receives passive blood flow-ie: you have to be moving), and though it may not be much, at least I'm keeping things loosened up. But invariably, I do not stop at that rose garden. Once I'm out there, once I've gone through; finding my shoes, getting my coat on, putting the dog on her leash and walkng to that corner, I just want to keep going. Usually I walk at least another 3/4 of a mile. It's all about the routine. Have you ever heard the saying, "Act as if you are, until you are"? It's like that.

I do the same thing with writing but didn't really think about it that way until I read Linda's comment on my previous post. I'll tell myself to write a certain number of words, but find myself going past it. Or I commit to writing for a half-hour but write for two or three hours instead. Looking at goals in small chunks of time can propel us to write even more. And for me at least, the opposite is true too; if I take a day off, I want to take two or three. The longer I stay away, the harder it is to get back to it.

What are your thoughts? ~Karen