Tuesday, January 8, 2008

The Fear-driven Mammogram


(this is a break from my regular posts-but I think it is more important than anything else right now)


When I turned a certain age, I was told by my doctor that I needed to get a baseline mammogram. I didn't do it. I put it off for four years. Well, when my son's best friend's mother was again diagnosed with breast cancer a few months ago, I developed a fear. Not a fear of cancer. My fear was that she'd ask me if I'd had a mammogram. I considered what I'd say if she asked; should I lie, should I tell the truth. And if I told the truth, would it be a slap in the face to her. Of course it would. She beat breast cancer a few years ago, but this time it has mastesized and come back with a vengeance.


After specialists recommended that she go ahead and do anything she's been wanting to do, she took her family to Hawaii. She's fighting for her life. And I don't want to get naked and get my boob squished. Sheesh. How pathetic is that? So this morning I have an appointment to do just that. I don't have any symptoms-this is just a baseline mammogram. Still, if I allow myself to go down that road, I start thinking things like, "It's cold out. Maybe I'll call and cancel the appointment. It'd be nicer in the spring when it's warm." But that's not the road I will travel.


~Karen


6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good for you. I'm in the same boat: need the baseline, don't want to do it, even though I've had friends and family 1) get breast cancer 2) have a cancer scare, or even 3) die from breast cancer.

I have no more excuses because I just got insurance starting the 1st. You've helped motivate me, too, so thanks!

Karen Fisher-Alaniz said...

Check back here to tell me when your appointment is. Actually, I just got a call back that there is a suspicious spot. But I am told this is a common thing, especially with a first mammogram. Still, it's a bit worrisome. ~Karen

Anonymous said...

I will definitely check back.

My friend with the cancer scare - that was her first mammo, too, so maybe that's why; I hadn't heard that was a common thing. It turned out to be nothing for her, so I hope that helps ease your worry, even just a little.

Karen Fisher-Alaniz said...

It does. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Okay, it took me a while, but I said I'd check back, and here I am. I did get my first mammogram, and it was fine. It's definitely a load off my mind to have it done.

Karen Fisher-Alaniz said...

Yahoo Serena! I'm so glad you got it done. I'm now due for my third. They're doing them every 6-months. ~Karen