(this is a break from my regular posts-but I think it is more important than anything else right now)
When I turned a certain age, I was told by my doctor that I needed to get a baseline mammogram. I didn't do it. I put it off for four years. Well, when my son's best friend's mother was again diagnosed with breast cancer a few months ago, I developed a fear. Not a fear of cancer. My fear was that she'd ask me if I'd had a mammogram. I considered what I'd say if she asked; should I lie, should I tell the truth. And if I told the truth, would it be a slap in the face to her. Of course it would. She beat breast cancer a few years ago, but this time it has mastesized and come back with a vengeance.
After specialists recommended that she go ahead and do anything she's been wanting to do, she took her family to Hawaii. She's fighting for her life. And I don't want to get naked and get my boob squished. Sheesh. How pathetic is that? So this morning I have an appointment to do just that. I don't have any symptoms-this is just a baseline mammogram. Still, if I allow myself to go down that road, I start thinking things like, "It's cold out. Maybe I'll call and cancel the appointment. It'd be nicer in the spring when it's warm." But that's not the road I will travel.