Memoir Writer Qualifications?

In a recent article for the New York Times, Neil Genzlinger questioned just who should be worthy of writing a memoir. While I don't agree with what he said, in general, I can see his point.

If you've ever been in a critique group, hopefully someone has said, "So what?" to you. For example, there are lots of books written about people who overcome a terrible accident or a terrible illness. If it is your experience, it seems unique. It seems as if nobody has ever had an experience like that -- unlikely. I am a firm believer in reading books in the genre you want to be published in. If you do this, you may be able to take your common experience of overcoming illness and write it into an experience that is unique and untold. Without reading widely, you won't know what just that is.

Genslinger's article ends on this note, "If you didn’t feel you were discovering something as you wrote your memoir, don’t publish it."

When I was writing BREAKING THE CODE, I had a sense of being in a movie at times. When I was discovering clues in letters my father wrote, it felt like a scene in a movie. But the next memoir I'm writing doesn't have that same feel. I'm not sure we have the feeling while we are going through it. Afterall, we're just trying to well...get through it. What do you think?

The writer must believe that what he is doing is the most important thing in the world. And he must hold to this illusion even when he knows it is not true. -John Steinbeck
This quote is timely for me. I am finding that with the marketing of a book, you have to unlearn (at least for a time) everything your mother taught you. Women especially, are raised to not brag or boast. We're happy to sing someone elses praises but far less happy singing our own.

I am terribly uncomfortable doing things or saying things that amount to self-promotion. But in the world of book publishing, it's a necessity. Luckily, we soon-to-be authors have time to get accustomed to it.

During the time between book acceptance and book launch, we have a year or maybe two to gradually begin the task of promoting our work and thus, ourselves. I'm not even halfway through that time, so I can't say I'm completely comfortable with it. But I can say that it is becoming easier. Online promotion is easier and I'm working at getting comfortable with in-person promoting.

The amazing thing with in-person encounters is that somehow the subject of my book comes up all the time. It may be a quick comment by someone about a veteran or someone who says they want to be a writer. Whatever it is, life just keeps giving me opportunities to talk about my book. Sometimes I jump on the opportunity and sometimes I don't. There's a fine line between fitting it into conversation and forcing it into conversation. But it seems to be pretty natural for me. And I never go into a situation with a plan to talk about it.

A few years ago I was at a writing conference and listened to a speaker and agent. He said something that stuck with me. He said, "If your next door neighbor doesn't know about your book, I can't help you." In other words, as with Steinbeck's quote, you have to be so excited about your book that it oozes from your pores. I think that's starting to happen for me. How about you?

Oliver Wendell Holmes

"Many people die with their music still in them. Why is this so? Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it, time runs out." -Oliver Wendell Holmes

The Talkers in the Family

photo by Karen L. Alaniz

"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her." -Rodney Dangerfield

I can't be the only one who has a few "talkers" in her family. Maybe it's your Uncle George who keeps telling the same stories over and over. Perhaps it's your Grandma Susie who has a story for everything. Or maybe it's your cousin whose stories of childhood have you rolling on the floor with laughter. It might even be a neighbor, who just seems to spout words of wisdom in passing. We all have them, don't we?

But the thing is, we also sometimes have little conversations with ourselves, when we see them coming. They start something like this;

"If Grandpa tells the story about his car breaking down on his first date with Grandma one more time..."

-or-

"I'm really not in the mood for Cousin Jeanie's stories today..."

-or-

"She never listens to me. She's always focused on what story she'll tell me next..."

Well, here's the funny thing; the more some people talk, the less we listen (I suspect that's true of Rodney Dangerfield's wife). But what if there were such a thing as a Life-Long Calendar. What if you could turn to January 22, 2009 and find out that that date would be Cousin Jeanie's last day on earth. Would you look at those stories differently? What would you do differently? How would you spend the next few months?

I know what I'd do. I'd listen more carefully. I'd try to commit each story to memory. I'd purpose myself to get those stories recorded. Whether with a tape recorder, a video recorder, a computer word processor, or just old fashioned pen and paper, I'd get them all saved for myself and for future generations.

Are there people in your life right now whose stories are flitting around in the wind? Pin them down, record them. Start small, if you must. Commit to writing down one story from one of the "talkers" in your life. They'll be flattered that you asked. And the fabulous part is that when you write down someones history, you are making history at the same time. So go ahead, WRITE NOW - BECAUSE IT'S LATER THAN YOU THINK

The Rejection Dog

"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." -Thomas Edison

Wow! If that's not inspiring, I don't know what is. Writing can be so difficult, especially on the emotions. If you're writing for publication, you know what I mean. There is something about rejection that makes you want to quit. Go figure! But as writers we must go against logic and continue to go back again and again to that dog that bit us. We'll learn new approaches along the way and eventually, it just may lick our hand and send us a check. Until then, we must persist, because success is just around the corner. ~Karen

Another quote

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them." ~John F. Kennedy

photo: pioneer park

Treasured Words

I went thrift-store shopping with my daughter today. I don't ever give her real name here to protect her privacy. But every time I talk about her and use a fictional name, she complains that the name just isn't right; it's too weird, too old fashioned, too dorky, too...whatever. So I'll just call her X. Well, X and I made the rounds to our local thrift stores. She had a very specific list of things she was looking for but I did not, so I just looked around, finding a few usable items. Then as I looked through the books lining one long shelf near the checkout, I saw it.

I am somehow attracted to old books; not old as in from the 70's, but old as in canvas covers with simple embossed letters. The began reading a random paragraph of the book and found it quite engaging, and motivating and positive. I looked at the copyright, which was in an unusual place (common among old books). It had it's first printing in 1944 and this particular issue was from 1948...Cool! I love books like that. Then I looked for the title, which was hidden. Instead of being on the front of the book, it was on the edge. "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" it said, "By Dale Carnegie." I hadn't heard of Dale Carnegie but I soon read that he'd written the famous, "How to Win Friends and Influence People." Cooler! Then I found a sticker with the price...75 cents! Even cooler yet! I don't really consider myself a worrier so it's a good thing I read the book before seeing the title. For the next few posts I'll share what I've learned from this new, and yet old...treasure.

"Happy the man, and happy he alone,
He, who can call to-day his own;
He who, secure within, can say:
'to-morrow, do thy worst, for I have lived to-day.'"

~Horace

Am I the only one who loves this? This is just so cool!

~Karen

Friday Night Quote

"When we hear the word "inspiration" we imagine something that comes like a bolt of lightening, and at once with a rapt flashing of the eyes, tossed hair and feverish excitement, a poet or artist begins furiously to paint or write. At least I used to think sadly that that was what inspiration must be, and never experienced a thing that was one bit like it. But this isn't so. Inspiration comes very slowly and quietly." -Brenda Ueland

Friday Night Quote

"Let us, then, be up and doing
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait."

-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I feel like I should follow this with a resounding "Amen!" Well, Amen means "so be it," so perhaps I will.

Amen!

Karen

Friday Night Quote

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." -Albert Einstein

Words to Walk on

We've been working on putting in a new patio for a few weeks now...well, my husband would say months, since the prep work started much earlier. So the new patio is in, made completely from recycled materials by the way. So now I need some help. I want some words out on my patio. So yesterday I decided to paint some on one of the six pavers. I chose Leo Tolstoy's words, "True Life is lived when tiny changes occur." And I love, love, love it!

My idea is to use quotes from the famous, and perhaps not so famous. So comment with your favorite quotes, whether from an 18th century poet, or your great aunt Hilda. I was thinking that I would try to use things that can relfect the outdoors, creating something new (ie the patio) or something about gardens, day, or nature. But I'm really open to anything, so long as it makes sense even to the littlest feet that cross my path.

So help me out here, couldja?

By the way, the link for Kiva, there on the side (and no, I don't know why it is cut off)? Its something I heard about this morning on the news. Go ahead -click on it. It's a fabulous opportunity for you and I and a third world entrepreneur whose dreams are no less compelling than our own.

Write On!

-Karen

The Inspiration Table

I love words, don't you? I love inspirational words and quotes from famous and not so famous people. Several years ago I bought a wood coffee table at a second-hand store. It was bare wood. It looked as if someone had made it by hand, though only if you looked closely. What I loved most about the table was that it cost only $12.50. I figured at that great price, I could feel free to "mess it up" all I wanted and all I would have lost is a little more than a ten dollar bill. Well that table has seen several coats of paint now. My favorite was when I painted the legs light green and the top light purple; then I collected quotes and wrote them in paint-marker on the sides of it. I had inspirational quotes about life and love. I can't tell you how many people remarked on how great it was as they read the quotes all around it. I loved it too...but alas, I got tired of it. I painted over it with a new color and technique. I think I'm ready to give it another coat of paint and covering of insprational words. I think I'll start with this one;

"We are traditionally rather proud of ourselves for having slipped creative work in there between the domestic chores and obligations. I'm not sure we deserve such big A-pluses for that."

-Toni Morrison

So I've decided to begin collecting a new batch of quotes. If you have one to share, let me know.

Karen (Lavinia)